Modern Love: Book Review

Cija Black, Dating Expert & Relationship Coach has authored Modern Love: The Grownup’s Guide to Relationships & Online Dating.  This is a wonderful book especially in today’s computer era where online dating is ever-present.  The most beneficial parts of this book for me were the sections on “boundaries” and the “types to avoid.”  Many of us have dated one of the five types mentioned in her book so it was nice to see it spelled out from a psychological standpoint.  To point out a particular sentence that struck a chord with me, “odds are unless they are willing to take responsibility for their behavior they will move on and find someone who is more willing to have their boundaries violated.”  Exactly, this is precisely what happened with my last relationship; I wasn’t willing to put up with “x, y, z” so he basically moved on to find someone who would tolerate his undesirable behavior. 

I enjoyed reading Cija’s boundary checklist and would like to note… that when someone is told “no…..they continue to plow forward with the same topic, conversation or action anyway regardless of your wishes.” Another good point about her checklist is … when some people see boundaries they see “an opportunity for an open negotiation or debate” rather than listening and accepting the fact the woman might not be interested.  I’ve paraphrased several of these sentences trying to establish my point that her book promotes positive behavior and respect in a relationship.  Whether you are traditional or “modern” as the book cover indicates the concept of respecting one’s boundaries is ageless and knows no decade.  Respect is neither modern nor traditional – it simply is what it is. 

I’ve had my emotional boundaries pushed, stomped on and disregarded over the years so it was actually rewarding to read all of Cija’s positive words and encouragement throughout this book.  I’ve only showcased one small section of her book, but there are many other sections that will help and improve other’s relationships.  Thank you Cija for authoring a wonderful book; it truly does help when one is single and searching.

Please click here to read my latest interview with Cija Black, Author of Modern Love.

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